I am content. That’s how I would sum up looking back at 2020. Suffice to say that 2020 has been a strange year. I would not say that it has been the most difficult year of my life – I’ve actually had worse. However, looking back at 2020, I will have to confess that perhaps the best life lessons have been learned in this year, of all years.
On the artistic front, I had great plans for 2020 at the very beginning. I was going to record a new album – my first in 5 years – and I was committed to playing as many live shows as humanly possible. Guess I was asking for a global pandemic to come in and ruin all those plans, eh? Typical!
Jobs-wise, I had quite a few ‘professional’ setbacks as class allocations I had taken for granted were suddenly removed, without good reason. But well you know, that’s the nature of being a freelancer, you are at the mercy of administrative decisions totally out of control. In these circumstances, the good that you have done becomes meaningless and serve as no guarantees for continued employment!
Two lessons come to mind here. One, take nothing for granted. I failed to truly appreciate the joy of music making and performance and by the time I realised that fact, it was impossible to do either, meaningfully. Fortunately, I managed to squeeze in a couple of online performances, solo and with The Fast Colors and am very grateful for that. Definitely, something I will not take for granted ever again.
The second lesson involves the idea of chasing anything that is out of my control – which is virtually everything! Because of the loss of jobs and income, I have had to adapt and adjust my spending and that in itself has been a rewarding experience as well. The forced necessity of being isolated during this global pandemic has also rid my soul of the want for constant companionship.
Thus, I no longer chase anyone or anything. I am content as is. If opportunities come about to connect with a fellow human being then so be it. If not, then I am perfectly content to be alone.
Looking back at 2020, I have to say that I am in a better place personally, than I was at the end of 2019, for a variety of reasons. I am content.
… still there’s more …