CRAWLING FROM THE WRECKAGE : ISOLATION DRILLS

Silver linings.

Positive thinking during a global pandemic that has not only killed hundreds of thousands but has tanked economies worldwide is certainly not easy. Not unless you are a 1 percenter ghoulishly enriching yourself during this crisis.

But try I must and I will. As I have shared before, I suffer from low self-esteem and anxiety disorder, which has been difficult to handle during this time. One of the issues I constantly struggle with is the constant need to connect with others, to avoid loneliness at all cost. A sense of perceived failure if nobody invites me out.

Now, the enforced isolation brought about by the lockdown and the fear of venturing into the public space – now a very rational one – has reduced this need a great deal. No self-loathing associated with being at home, when the whole world previously was out on the town. So that’s definitely a plus!

Of course, the reverse is also true. In the sense that where previously I had taken a few things for granted – like the ability to perform in public with an innate talent to make music – and had allowed my insecurities to actually stop me from even wanting to perform.

With any possibility of performing live totally removed during this pandemic, I truly believe that this kind of self-defeating wrong thinking has been completely flushed out of my system for good. Imagine the sheer enthusiasm I will possess for performing live when that is once again possible (in 2021?).

So lessons learned for sure and looking forward to a better me coming out of the other side of this shit show. Now it’s a matter of time, of which I will probably still have a lot of, to prepare for the new normal when it finally arrives.

still there’s more

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